What do you say when someone very close to you passes away? The answer to some is to come up and say the classic, "I'm sorry". I've learned that this does actually help. You see, my grandmother pasted away on Friday, September 10, 2010.
When I was told of her passing, I didn't know how to feel. No one I had ever been so close to had left me in death before. Her burial was on Tuesday, just family at the grave site. Each girl was given a pink rose to drop onto the cassette after it had be lowered. When the Pastor said we could now drop the flowers, no one moved. I decided that I would stand up and be the first to say my last good bye to my grandmother.
Later there was a memorial service for her at the funeral home. As I walked into that room, full of family that I no longer talked to and friends of my grandmother. I did not know what to do. People came up, knowing who I was, gave me and hug and said, "I'm sorry for your lose." Somehow, I didn't think it would help, but just those 5 words help me. The service wasn't long, but as soon as it started I couldn't hold in my tears. When it was over I looked around, seeing others hugging and going to other family members and giving their remorse. Going over to my sister, we just cried with each other, letting out our hurt and sorrow.
Then going up to two of my cousins, Amanda and Stephanie, we reconnected. They were two of my best friends growing up, but about 2-3 years ago family conflict pushed us apart. As we hugged and cried at our idioticness, we decided to try to become family again. This one thing, felt so good and made me so happy.
One of the things that the Pastor asked was that people say memories of my grandmother. Family wrote them and others shared. So I just want to share some of mine.
-I remember how my first grade year, we lived with you, and how you used to wait with me for the bus and all the talks we used to have.
-I remember the Canada trip you took with us after my parents divorce and how much fun you made it. & how upset you got with the monkey "went" on your car.
-I remember sleeping over at your house, walking down the stairs in the morning and you having waffles and chocolate milk ready for us.
-I remember how we used to fight between who got to sleep in the water bed with you and who had to sleep on the floor mattress made of blankets.
-I remember how you used to always make us brush our teeth for the right amount of time and then you would check our teeth to see if we cleaned them right.
-I remember how you used to move you van out of the car so we could make our Barbie town and leave it up for weeks.
-I remember 4th of July holidays at your house.
-I remember going to the store with you.
-I remember so much that involves you. Thank you for being an amazing grandma.
I'll miss you "Gramcracker" Rest in Peace Delores Yvonne Tuffs. I don't know why God picks the time he does to take our loved ones away. But I know you are up there with him and one day I will see you again. I love you.
