Love Is A Scary Word.

How can a four letter word be so scary?

According to dictionary.com "Love" has 21 definitions. Number 1 defines it as; a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. This doesn't even begin to define this complex word.

I've had many thoughts about "Love" today. God has given us this emotion; we as humans don't use this responsibility well. The word seems to be thrown around all over the place. But such a strong word should only be used if the strong emotion is there. If there is a true need and care for the person or object.

Relationships are where "Love" comes into play the most. That moment when one person tells their partner, "I LOVE you." From personal experience I can tell you; that is a magical moment in any person. Then hearing it said back, "I LOVE you too." Knowing that the emotion you are feeling is being returned, that seems to fill your heart.

This word is no good unless you are going to commit to it. "Love" is not an emotion or feeling that will just disappear. If the person is telling the truth, every time they say it, the "Love" will not go away. Such a strong feeling should and does stay forever. You "Love" through the worst times and through the best times. You take that person as they are.

I hadn't made a New Years resolution this year; but I decided to start one: Commit to those that I truly LOVE and maybe gain more I can truly LOVE.



Those I "Love":
-My God, Jesus.
-My Mother.
-My Sister; Holly.
-My Brother, Adam.
-My Stepfather.
-My Boyfriend/Best Friend, Cole.
-My Almost Sister/Best Friend, Janie.
-My Dad.
-My Sister, Devin.
-My Brother, Luc.
-Animals of the World.

Passing Of A Great

What do you say when someone very close to you passes away? The answer to some is to come up and say the classic, "I'm sorry". I've learned that this does actually help. You see, my grandmother pasted away on Friday, September 10, 2010.

When I was told of her passing, I didn't know how to feel. No one I had ever been so close to had left me in death before. Her burial was on Tuesday, just family at the grave site. Each girl was given a pink rose to drop onto the cassette after it had be lowered. When the Pastor said we could now drop the flowers, no one moved. I decided that I would stand up and be the first to say my last good bye to my grandmother.

Later there was a memorial service for her at the funeral home. As I walked into that room, full of family that I no longer talked to and friends of my grandmother. I did not know what to do. People came up, knowing who I was, gave me and hug and said, "I'm sorry for your lose." Somehow, I didn't think it would help, but just those 5 words help me. The service wasn't long, but as soon as it started I couldn't hold in my tears. When it was over I looked around, seeing others hugging and going to other family members and giving their remorse. Going over to my sister, we just cried with each other, letting out our hurt and sorrow.

Then going up to two of my cousins, Amanda and Stephanie, we reconnected. They were two of my best friends growing up, but about 2-3 years ago family conflict pushed us apart. As we hugged and cried at our idioticness, we decided to try to become family again. This one thing, felt so good and made me so happy.

One of the things that the Pastor asked was that people say memories of my grandmother. Family wrote them and others shared. So I just want to share some of mine.

-I remember how my first grade year, we lived with you, and how you used to wait with me for the bus and all the talks we used to have.
-I remember the Canada trip you took with us after my parents divorce and how much fun you made it. & how upset you got with the monkey "went" on your car.
-I remember sleeping over at your house, walking down the stairs in the morning and you having waffles and chocolate milk ready for us.
-I remember how we used to fight between who got to sleep in the water bed with you and who had to sleep on the floor mattress made of blankets.
-I remember how you used to always make us brush our teeth for the right amount of time and then you would check our teeth to see if we cleaned them right.
-I remember how you used to move you van out of the car so we could make our Barbie town and leave it up for weeks.
-I remember 4th of July holidays at your house.
-I remember going to the store with you.
-I remember so much that involves you. Thank you for being an amazing grandma.

I'll miss you "Gramcracker" Rest in Peace Delores Yvonne Tuffs. I don't know why God picks the time he does to take our loved ones away. But I know you are up there with him and one day I will see you again. I love you.

OH NO!!!

Oh no!! I missed a day! How could this happen?!?!?!?
Oh, nevermind. :) Oh well.



Lets recap from yesterday;
-School
-Home, were I did some stuff.....some secret stuff ;)
-Then talked to Cole.
Yup. That was it. It sounds boring but really it was great....no amazing.


So far today (bc I'll have to write two since I missed yesterday).......
-School
-Texted Cole's mom. (still don't know if it should be; Cole's mom, Mrs. Waters, or Cindy. I'm just going with Mrs. Waters)
-Now I'm at Janie's house. Justin is here too. :)

He wanted me to include his name, so of course I'm going to be a good friend and do it.

Anyway......The rest of the day is kinda just going to happen. I have a slight idea of wants going to happen, but who knows.

:) "Lets make this moment last forever"

We are going to rock this world till it blows up.

Today = Amazing!

I didn't get to hang out with Cole. :(
But hopefully soon all of this stuff will end & I'll be able to.

Janie & Justin have Sunday off work now.
So the 3 of us hung out all day.
Pretty Amazing.
Lets see; we had lunch at the Sebring Diner (so good), Justin took us to this park/trail (which was so pretty), hung out at Justin's house for a while, went to the mall (more K-Mart), Justin bought us lunchables for dinner (so great)
The best part about hanging out with Janie & Justin is that they don't make me feel like the 3rd wheel at all.
Oh! & that every time I hang out with them, they always ask about Cole and talk about how he really needs to hang out with us. Justin does that the most. :)

I love that I have amazing parents that will let me spend the day with friends, when we decide to hang out on a total whim basically.
So Great.

I have some pretty busy weekends going on this next month. Hopefully I can get all of my stuff done in time. But, I'm sure I'll be able to. :)

1 Peter 4:8
Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.

I will do this.

So this all kinda reminds me of xanga? Anyone remeber that?
It was that one site where people would write about their lives.
Sometimes people would read it, other times they wouldn't.
But no one cared, they still wrote.
That's exactly how this is.

Just so everyone knows....I hate Relay For Life. & the Sun.
Walking around a track for an hour and sitting around in the sun for 3 hours!
Not my idea of fun.
Plus add on getting sun burned. Yea, no fun.

But on the plus side;
Janie & I went to subway.
We both go a new charm for our bracelets.
We had a surprisingly good time at the mall.
I got to have a chicken asian salad.
& I'm talking to Cole at the moment (thats the best part of today).

Those were the highlights of my Satuday........
Yea, my life is so exciting.
Not.

Wow.....

I just realized today that I haven't really used this thing at all. So, i guess i better start using it.

It's been one of those 'eh' days. It started out bad with VanDam going off on me.
But continues to turn into a day full of surprises and fun.

Cole is off to Grad Night at Disney. Darn him, wish i could go.

I have so much that I need to get done. Ranging from cleaning my room to studying for my SAT to graduation presents to just figuring out what I'm doing tomorrow. Who ever said that being a kid was easy....well they should try being on in this decade. It's brutal.

But life has to get easier at some point, right? Well just node your head and agree with me.
Thanks.

Chell Out.